Sir Gammer Vans
Sunday morning at six o'clock in the evening as I was sailing over the
tops of the mountains in my little boat, I met two men on horseback
riding on one mare: So I asked them, "Could they tell me whether the
little old woman was dead yet who was hanged last Saturday week for
drowning herself in a shower of feathers?" They said they could not
positively inform me, but if I went to Sir Gammer Vans he could tell me
all about it. "But how am I to know the house?" said I. "Ho, 't is easy
enough," said they, "for 't is a brick house, built entirely of flints,
standing alone by itself in the middle of sixty or seventy others just
"Oh, nothing in the world is easier," said I.
"Nothing can be easier," said they: so I went on my way.
this Sir G. Vans was a giant, and a bottle-maker. And as all giants who
are bottle-makers usually pop out of a little thumb-bottle from behind
the door, so did Sir G. Vans.
"How d'ye do?" says he.
"Very well, I thank you," says I.
"Have some breakfast with me?"
"With all my heart," says I.
So he gave me a slice of beer, and a cup of cold veal; and there was a little dog under the table that picked up all the crumbs.
"Hang him," says I.
don't hang him," says he; "for he killed a hare yesterday. And if you
don't believe me, I'll show you the hare alive in a basket."
he took me into his garden to show me the curiosities. In one corner
there was a fox hatching eagle's eggs; in another there was an iron
apple tree, entirely covered with pears and lead; in the third there
was the hare which the dog killed yesterday alive in the basket; and in
the fourth there were twenty-four hipper switches threshing tobacco,
and at the sight of me they threshed so hard that they drove the plug
through the wall, and through a little dog that was passing by on the
other side. I, hearing the dog howl, jumped over the wall; and turned
it as neatly inside out as possible, when it ran away as if it had not
an hour to live. Then he took me into the park to show me his deer: and
I remembered that I had a warrant in my pocket to shoot venison for his
majesty's dinner. So I set fire to my bow, poised my arrow, and shot
amongst them. I broke seventeen ribs on one side, and twenty-one and a
half on the other; but my arrow passed clean through without ever
touching it, and the worst was I lost my arrow: however, I found it
again in the hollow of a tree. I felt it; it felt clammy. I smelt it;
it smelt honey. "Oh, ho," said I, "here's a bee's nest," when out
sprang a covey of partridges. I shot at them; some say I killed
eighteen; but I am sure I killed thirty-six, besides a dead salmon
which was flying over the bridge, of which I made the best apple-pie I
|All English Fairy Tales
THE STORY OF THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
JACK THE GIANT-KILLER
THE PIED PIPER OF FRANCHVILLE
THE STORY OF THE THREE BEARS
TOM TIT TOT
THE THREE SILLIES
THE OLD WOMAN AND HER PIG
HOW JACK WENT TO SEEK HIS FORTUNE
NIX NOUGHT NOTHING
MOUSE AND MOUSER
CAP O' RUSHES
THE MASTER AND HIS PUPIL
TITTY MOUSE ND TATTY MOUSE
JACK AND HIS GOLDEN SNUFF-BOX
THE RED ETTIN
MASTER OF ALL MASTERS.
THE GOLDEN ARM
THE HISTORY OF TOM THUMB
EARL MAR'S DAUGHTER
WHITTINGTON AND HIS CAT
THE STRANGE VISITOR
THE LAIDLY WORM OF SPINDLESTON HEUGH
THE CAT AND THE MOUSE.
THE FISH AND THE RING.
THE MAGPIE'S NEST
THE CAULD LAD OF HILTON
THE ASS, THE TABLE, AND THE STICK
THE WELL OF THE WORLD'S END.
THE THREE HEADS OF THE WELL