|Norwegian Fairy Tales
THE HUSBAND WHO WAS TO MIND THE HOUSE
on a time there was a man, so surly and cross, he never thought his
wife did anything right in the house. So, one evening, in hay- making
time, he came home, scolding and swearing, and showing his teeth and
making a dust.
'Dear love, don't be so angry; there's a good
man', said his goody; 'to-morrow let's change our work. I'll go out
with the mowers and mow, and you shall mind the house at home.'
Yes! the husband thought that would do very well. He was quite willing, he said.
early next morning, his goody took a scythe over her neck, and went out
into the hay-field with the mowers, and began to mow; but the man was
to mind the house, and do the work at home.
First of all, he
wanted to churn the butter; but when he had churned a while, he got
thirsty, and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale. So, just
when he had knocked in the bung, and was putting the tap into the cask,
he heard overhead the pig come into the kitchen. Then off he ran up the
cellar steps, with the tap in his hand, as fast as he could, to look
after the pig, lest it should upset the churn; but when he got up, and
saw the pig had already knocked the churn over, and stood there,
routing and grunting amongst the cream which was running all over the
floor, he got so wild with rage that he quite forgot the ale-barrel,
and ran at the pig as hard as he could. He caught it, too, just as it
ran out of doors, and gave it such a kick, that piggy lay for dead on
Then all at once he remembered he had the tap in his
hand; but when he got down to the cellar, every drop of ale had run out
of the cask.
Then he went into the dairy and found enough cream
left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for butter they
must have at dinner. When he had churned a bit, he remembered that
their milking cow was still shut up in the byre, and hadn't had a bit
to eat or a drop to drink all the morning, though the sun was high.
Then all at once he thought 'twas too far to take her down to the
meadow, so he'd just get her up on the house top-for the house, you
must know, was thatched with sods, and a fine crop of grass was growing
there. Now their house lay close up against a steep down, and he
thought if he laid a plank across to the thatch at the back he'd easily
get the cow up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn, for there
was his little babe crawling about on the floor, and 'if I leave it',
he thought, 'the child is safe to upset it'. So he took the churn on
his back, and went out with it; but then he thought he'd better first
water the cow before he turned her out on the thatch; so he took up a
bucket to draw water out of the well; but, as he stooped down at the
well's brink, all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulders,
and so down into the well.
Now it was near dinner-time, and he
hadn't even got the butter yet; so he thought he'd best boil the
porridge, and filled the pot with water, and hung it over the fire.
When he had done that, he thought the cow might perhaps fall off the
thatch and break her legs or her neck. So he got up on the house to tie
her up. One end of the rope he made fast to the cow's neck and the
other he slipped down the chimney and tied round his own thigh; and he
had to make haste, for the water now began to boil in the pot, and he
had still to grind the oatmeal.
So he began to grind away; but
while he was hard at it, down fell the cow off the house-top after all,
and as she fell, she dragged the man up the chimney by the rope. There
he stuck fast; and as for the cow, she hung half-way down the wall,
swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor
And now the goody had waited seven lengths and seven
breadths for her husband to come and call them home to dinner; but
never a call they had. At last she thought she'd waited long enough,
and went home. But when she got there and saw the cow hanging in such
an ugly place, she ran up and cut the rope in two with her scythe. But
as she did this, down came her husband out of the chimney; and so when
his old dame came inside the kitchen, there she found him standing on
his head in the porridge pot.